What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?
This is truly an amazing verse, applicable in so many ways.
What is the underlying cause of fights and quarrels? It is your desires that are battling within you. The outer war that is going on with others in your life is a result of the inner skirmish. The reason why I love this verse is because when I stop and consider, when I am truly honest with myself, at the heart of every argument has been a wrong desire.
I am not necessarily talking about every time I have been argued with or every time someone has disagreed with me, I am referring to the times when things have crumbled into a dispute... Those times when peace wasn't being made. (Consider James 3:18)
Next time there is an erosion into a dispute in your life, stop for that moment and consider what the desire is that is at the root of the fight. Then eliminate it and become a peacemaker.