I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better.(Philippians 1:23, ESV)Can you feel Paul's tension?
What is truly marvelous is that Paul is teaching the Philippian Christians about the realities of life and death and service in the kingdom... but he isn't doing it from a lofty position at a Christian Institute or a Theological Seminary (though there isn't anything wrong with these things). He is doing it from a Roman Prison. He is living the lesson he is teaching.