Let Me Not Wander

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (NIV) This passage seemed to go back and forth between the two ideas of Christ and His Church and the husband-wife relationship. Paul (the author) ends up here back where he started, and in the context, that is the main point that he is trying to get across. This whole chapter is about earthly relationships and behaviors, but if you go back through you will find "Christ" sprinkled all through it. He is our example, our motivation, and our reward. He is our all in all! It is hard to talk about anything good without mentioning Jesus Christ.

This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. (NIV) The author is bouncing back and forth between the two topics: Christ and the church, husbands and wives. When relating the quote from Genesis, speaking on the one-flesh relationship of husbands and wives, the author pauses to mention that it is a "profound mystery" or a great mystery. The word mystery comes from a word that means to "shut the mouth." It is used by rabbis when referring to some O.T. saying that has a hidden meaning. God is never pulling things together at the last minute. There might be some stuff that is a mystery to us, but it is simply because God has not revealed it to us. There is nothing that is a mystery to him. In fact, as He reveals new things to us in the New Testament, we find that He had things planned from the beginning.

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." (NIV) This verse is a quote of Genesis 2:24. The context in Genesis is the creation of man and woman. The woman was taken from the man's flesh, and it is "for this reason," as the verse says, that a man leaves his parents and is united with his wife. It is a one flesh relationship. This relationship is meant to be permanent. As it goes in our wedding ceremonies, "...till death do us part..." That is the way God intended it.

for we are members of his body. (NIV) In the context, here is the explanation as to why Christ feeds and cares for the church. There are several different applications that we could pull from this teaching. Applications regarding our roles as members of this Church-body. But the main idea in this particular passage is not our roles, but His role. And specifically in this passage, Christ's role as the head includes feeding and caring. As members of the body of Christ, we do not need to worry about anything. We will be provided for, just as Christ sees fit.

After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— (NIV) Never in scripture are we commanded to love ourselves. We are often times, like in this verse, reminded of the fact that we do love ourselves. In fact, we are born as lovers of self. Any parent could attest to that fact. There has yet to be a baby born that will consider the feelings of others. It just doesn't happen. In the previous few verses of this chapter, we are told that husbands are to love their wives "in the same way" as Christ does the church. This isn't enough explanation for some men. Some men need something a little bit more detailed, so Paul explains it in a way that any man would understand: Love your wives the way you would love your own body. Nobody hates themselves, not really. (People who say that, are really just struggling with a completely self-centered view of the world.) So men, Love your wives the way you love yourself. T...

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. (NIV) This is how it was from the beginning. Jesus tells us that a man is to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and "they will become one flesh." ( Read Mark 10:1-12 ) Why is marriage a holy and sacred thing? Marriage is a holy and sacred thing because God said it was a holy and sacred thing. He "invented" marriage for more than just procreation. Procreation can happen outside of marriage, if no one has told you yet... Marriage is more than that. It is a picture, and I will say it every time that I write on this topic. God hates divorce ( Malachi 2:16 ) for all of these same reasons. In this verse, the emphasis is put onto the man, the husband. He is commanded to love his wife, "in the same way" as this love that Jesus has had for His church. It is a tall order, but we do it to fulfill our vows to Christ.

and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. (NIV) Christ, as the perfect example of husbandry, is cleansing His bride. We can all, as Christians, feel the effects of this cleansing. It impacts us in our daily lives. He is sanctifying each one of us, and the job will be completed in one final step at the end of our lives. Then the church will be without blemish, holy and blameless. Notice that the purpose of this cleansing is to present the church to Himself. He is not cleansing the church for another, but for Himself. As we continue to read through this passage, and look at the role of the husband, keep in mind that the requirements of the husband are all for this same end result. He works at cleansing his bride because she is his. He presents this woman to himself.

to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, (NIV) The husband, in following the example that Christ has set forth, is to be a good shepherd to his wife. He, through sacrifice of himself, is to be cleansing his bride. The husband should be a skillful master of the Word. He should know how to wield the Word of God in such a way, not as a sword, like one would normally think, but as a washcloth. Gently washing his bride.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (NIV) The husband's role is to love the wife. The degree, or the measure, of this love is comparable to Christ's love for the church. To get a demonstration of the extent of Christ's love for the church, simply look at the cross. This is a great love, it is a sacrificial love, and it is a love that holds no room for selfishness. I am fighting the urge to elaborate, but I believe that if a man really looks to the cross, my elaborations will seem trivial. The man who seeks to love their wife the way Christ loved the church must be calling on Christ daily for His grace. He is the only originator of this kind of love. If you are a husband, look to the cross today. Compare your love... not to the bad husbands of the world, compare your love to Christ and what He did on the cross. Then call on Him to enable you to live that kind of love.

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. (NIV) No one doubts the role of the church. The church is clearly to submit to Jesus Christ, the Lord and Savior, but this command is very clear concerning wives. They are to submit to the husband. In fact, they are to submit to him in the same way as the church submits to Christ. There is no other option, no other loop-hole command. When the husband is fulfilling His role, which will come up in the next few verses, this task becomes much easier. The challenge comes when there is a husband who is not fulfilling his role. The woman must not presume upon herself though; if she truly desires God to work in the heart of her husband, if she wants that husband to fulfill his godly role as a husband, then she must start with herself. What does this look like? A wife must submit to the authority of her husband in all things. The only exceptions would be if the husband is asking her to do ...

For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. (NIV) Here we have the connection, the illustration is laid out for us. The relationship of Christ and the church is pictured by the relationship of a husband and wife. There are all kinds of examples that we could draw from this concerning Christ and the church: how there is love, communication and intimacy between the two. (I think this video helps to illustrate that point.) There is also teaching to be directed at a husband and wife. Paul, as he writes this passage is driving in that very direction, but he will go back and forth between the two. In this verse we see that the reason why a wife is to be submissive to the husband, it is because the husband is the head. More importantly though, we see why the husband is the head, it is because Christ is the head of the church. I can see how this could be difficult in some marriages, but it is important to realize that...

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. (NIV) If anyone endeavors to commentate their way through the Bible, they will eventually run across many verses like this. Understand please, I am not talking about the topic, I am talking about verses that many have come to reject and almost cringe at. There are many that feel that way about this particular verse. If you talk about wives being submissive to their husbands in America, whoa... hold everything. Most people hear this and they immediately get this picture in their mind of some mountain preacher with an amazingly thick southern accent preachin' this verse, with many hardy amens in the background. There is a picture that should come to your mind when you hear this verse. It isn't southern preachers though. In fact, any mention of marriage should bring to mind the illustration of Christ and the Church, or Christ and His people. Marriage, though it has other God-given purposes, is meant to illustrate these roles. I ...

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (NIV) Here is what you are to " put on " in the process of change. You were to " put off " all "bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice" as described in verse 32, and you are to " put on " kindness, compassion, and forgiveness. We also get a " mind-renewing " boost at the end of the verse, "just as in Christ God forgave you." When you consider how much you have been forgiven, how much compassion Christ has shown to you, and how much kindness you are shown every day by an almighty God, it becomes more clear why you should show these things to others. Remember, if you are a child of God, then the process of change is ultimately a work of Christ. Consider Philippians 1:6, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ J...

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. (NIV) This verse might be best served with some definitions. Bitterness - Just what it says, bitterness. It is a bitter root that produces a bitter fruit. Rage - Usually translated as Wrath. It has to do with a passionate anger. This is the person who is fuming. They are bubbling over with anger. Anger - This word has also been translated as wrath. It is most definitely referring to the actions associated with anger. It doesn't have to mean this, but their can also be the association with violence. This is the person who is acting out on their anger, in a sinful way. Brawling - Ok, I just learned something new, this word has to do with making an outcry, or a crying. After I read the definitions, what immediately jumped into my mind was the person who yells when they are angry. He may not do something violent, but he is letting everyone know exactly how angry he is. He is a ye...

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. (NIV) This verse is a sort of interjection. It is a " Oh, and by the way... " verse, but it is also a " Don't forget, in all of these things... " verse. The Spirit of God was given to us as another Comforter, in place of an actual Christ walking this earth. He dwells within us, and according to this verse, you are sealed with Him, until the day of redemption. I believe that Paul puts this verse in right here in the middle because we are to live by the Spirit. This list of examples is not to be a list of commands. They are examples of someone who is living by the Spirit. The word "grieve" means " to make sorrowful" . As we commune with the Spirit of God, we are seeking to please God through the Spirit. It is important to remember that when we do the wrong things, He is affected. You can bring sadness to the Spirit of God. That is why the k...

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (NIV) God has given us words and language. This speech that was given to us has been affected by the fall of man. Now our speech can be " unwholesome " which can also be translated as corrupt or bad . As a child of God, who is walking in His way, we are to put that corrupt speech off and put on speech that is edifying, building up. In an age that is filled with sarcasm and blunt humor, it is almost expected that we are to be thick-skinned. Even amongst those in the house of God, that element of our culture has infiltrated into our brains so much that I have even known people that believed that to be a good Christian, you should be able to take a joke. This is not God's way. Maybe in this day and age we need to be thick-skinned, but we should never require someone else to have that need for thick skin w...

He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need. (NIV) When are you no longer a thief? Is it when you simply stop stealing? No. It is when you begin working, and working so much, or in such a way, that you can actually begin to help others. You don't have to hold a gun up to be a thief. You can "milk the clock" while you are at work. You can bring home that package of pens or printer paper without permission. There are many ways that thievery goes on, on a daily basis, even amongst those in the house of God. When you are renewed in your mind, and you begin to think of things in God's way, change will happen. As you think of work with a Biblical mindset, the stealing will be put off. Once you have put off the stealing, you will begin to work for new motivations, not just to add to yourself more stuff. So many Americans that actually do have a good wor...

and do not give the devil a foothold. (NIV) If you do not deal with your sinful anger in a Biblical way, then you can rest assured that the devil will get a foothold into your heart and mind. The devil here is the word that means, false accuser or slanderer. Sinful anger can play just such a role in your life, it can deceive you and trick you. The longer you allow it in your life, the more it can twist your thinking. [Personal Note:] As I am writing this, I am being reminded of all sorts of times in my life that I held onto anger, and in my 20/20 hindsight, I can see how the devil did receive that foothold. I don't know why I never saw this connection before, this connection between anger and self-deception. When you get angry, and don't deal with it in a proper way, you become more and more focused on whatever it is that has made you angry. In the end, you have completely forgotten the greatest command of God, to Love Him and to Love Others.

"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, (NIV) The biggest thing that I would like to point out here is that this verse does not say that all anger is sin. You can get angry, yet not sin. This is important. There are many who battle anger by trying to never get angry. The key is to determine what we do with the anger, we can get angry, but not sin. To tackle sinful anger, it simply cannot be done in one short blog post, but let me try to outline the path of change. The Put Off is fairly simple, we need to put off sinful anger. It says it right there, In your anger... don't sin. The Put On is a little more hidden here, but I believe that it is still here, in the next part of the verse. To "not let the sun go down" you are going to have to deal with the problem. Jay Adams, in a booklet on anger, says that anger is energy to solve problems, and I believe that there is a lot of truth to that. We need to deal with th...

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. (NIV) Remember, this passage is talking about True Change. When does a liar stop being a liar? When does an alcoholic stop being an alcoholic. When does the adulterer stop being an adulterer? These are the questions that need to be answered. Modern psychology will tell an alcoholic that he will always be an alcoholic. They tell him it is a disease that he has, but with the true changing of the Spirit of God, you can be made free from the laws of sin and death. Here is the first example of the Put Off, Be Renewed, Put On, method of change. In this example we are dealing with a liar. You are to put off falsehood and you are to put on speaking the truth. Notice that the middle step is left out. I believe that the reason for this is because it is an assumption at this point. That middle step can only be accomplished if you are a true child of God. If you are, t...