Let Me Not Wander

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (NIV) This passage seemed to go back and forth between the two ideas of Christ and His Church and the husband-wife relationship. Paul (the author) ends up here back where he started, and in the context, that is the main point that he is trying to get across. This whole chapter is about earthly relationships and behaviors, but if you go back through you will find "Christ" sprinkled all through it. He is our example, our motivation, and our reward. He is our all in all! It is hard to talk about anything good without mentioning Jesus Christ.

This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. (NIV) The author is bouncing back and forth between the two topics: Christ and the church, husbands and wives. When relating the quote from Genesis, speaking on the one-flesh relationship of husbands and wives, the author pauses to mention that it is a "profound mystery" or a great mystery. The word mystery comes from a word that means to "shut the mouth." It is used by rabbis when referring to some O.T. saying that has a hidden meaning. God is never pulling things together at the last minute. There might be some stuff that is a mystery to us, but it is simply because God has not revealed it to us. There is nothing that is a mystery to him. In fact, as He reveals new things to us in the New Testament, we find that He had things planned from the beginning.

"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." (NIV) This verse is a quote of Genesis 2:24. The context in Genesis is the creation of man and woman. The woman was taken from the man's flesh, and it is "for this reason," as the verse says, that a man leaves his parents and is united with his wife. It is a one flesh relationship. This relationship is meant to be permanent. As it goes in our wedding ceremonies, "...till death do us part..." That is the way God intended it.

for we are members of his body. (NIV) In the context, here is the explanation as to why Christ feeds and cares for the church. There are several different applications that we could pull from this teaching. Applications regarding our roles as members of this Church-body. But the main idea in this particular passage is not our roles, but His role. And specifically in this passage, Christ's role as the head includes feeding and caring. As members of the body of Christ, we do not need to worry about anything. We will be provided for, just as Christ sees fit.

After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— (NIV) Never in scripture are we commanded to love ourselves. We are often times, like in this verse, reminded of the fact that we do love ourselves. In fact, we are born as lovers of self. Any parent could attest to that fact. There has yet to be a baby born that will consider the feelings of others. It just doesn't happen. In the previous few verses of this chapter, we are told that husbands are to love their wives "in the same way" as Christ does the church. This isn't enough explanation for some men. Some men need something a little bit more detailed, so Paul explains it in a way that any man would understand: Love your wives the way you would love your own body. Nobody hates themselves, not really. (People who say that, are really just struggling with a completely self-centered view of the world.) So men, Love your wives the way you love yourself. T...

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. (NIV) This is how it was from the beginning. Jesus tells us that a man is to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and "they will become one flesh." ( Read Mark 10:1-12 ) Why is marriage a holy and sacred thing? Marriage is a holy and sacred thing because God said it was a holy and sacred thing. He "invented" marriage for more than just procreation. Procreation can happen outside of marriage, if no one has told you yet... Marriage is more than that. It is a picture, and I will say it every time that I write on this topic. God hates divorce ( Malachi 2:16 ) for all of these same reasons. In this verse, the emphasis is put onto the man, the husband. He is commanded to love his wife, "in the same way" as this love that Jesus has had for His church. It is a tall order, but we do it to fulfill our vows to Christ.

and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. (NIV) Christ, as the perfect example of husbandry, is cleansing His bride. We can all, as Christians, feel the effects of this cleansing. It impacts us in our daily lives. He is sanctifying each one of us, and the job will be completed in one final step at the end of our lives. Then the church will be without blemish, holy and blameless. Notice that the purpose of this cleansing is to present the church to Himself. He is not cleansing the church for another, but for Himself. As we continue to read through this passage, and look at the role of the husband, keep in mind that the requirements of the husband are all for this same end result. He works at cleansing his bride because she is his. He presents this woman to himself.

to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, (NIV) The husband, in following the example that Christ has set forth, is to be a good shepherd to his wife. He, through sacrifice of himself, is to be cleansing his bride. The husband should be a skillful master of the Word. He should know how to wield the Word of God in such a way, not as a sword, like one would normally think, but as a washcloth. Gently washing his bride.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (NIV) The husband's role is to love the wife. The degree, or the measure, of this love is comparable to Christ's love for the church. To get a demonstration of the extent of Christ's love for the church, simply look at the cross. This is a great love, it is a sacrificial love, and it is a love that holds no room for selfishness. I am fighting the urge to elaborate, but I believe that if a man really looks to the cross, my elaborations will seem trivial. The man who seeks to love their wife the way Christ loved the church must be calling on Christ daily for His grace. He is the only originator of this kind of love. If you are a husband, look to the cross today. Compare your love... not to the bad husbands of the world, compare your love to Christ and what He did on the cross. Then call on Him to enable you to live that kind of love.

Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. (NIV) No one doubts the role of the church. The church is clearly to submit to Jesus Christ, the Lord and Savior, but this command is very clear concerning wives. They are to submit to the husband. In fact, they are to submit to him in the same way as the church submits to Christ. There is no other option, no other loop-hole command. When the husband is fulfilling His role, which will come up in the next few verses, this task becomes much easier. The challenge comes when there is a husband who is not fulfilling his role. The woman must not presume upon herself though; if she truly desires God to work in the heart of her husband, if she wants that husband to fulfill his godly role as a husband, then she must start with herself. What does this look like? A wife must submit to the authority of her husband in all things. The only exceptions would be if the husband is asking her to do ...

For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. (NIV) Here we have the connection, the illustration is laid out for us. The relationship of Christ and the church is pictured by the relationship of a husband and wife. There are all kinds of examples that we could draw from this concerning Christ and the church: how there is love, communication and intimacy between the two. (I think this video helps to illustrate that point.) There is also teaching to be directed at a husband and wife. Paul, as he writes this passage is driving in that very direction, but he will go back and forth between the two. In this verse we see that the reason why a wife is to be submissive to the husband, it is because the husband is the head. More importantly though, we see why the husband is the head, it is because Christ is the head of the church. I can see how this could be difficult in some marriages, but it is important to realize that...

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. (NIV) If anyone endeavors to commentate their way through the Bible, they will eventually run across many verses like this. Understand please, I am not talking about the topic, I am talking about verses that many have come to reject and almost cringe at. There are many that feel that way about this particular verse. If you talk about wives being submissive to their husbands in America, whoa... hold everything. Most people hear this and they immediately get this picture in their mind of some mountain preacher with an amazingly thick southern accent preachin' this verse, with many hardy amens in the background. There is a picture that should come to your mind when you hear this verse. It isn't southern preachers though. In fact, any mention of marriage should bring to mind the illustration of Christ and the Church, or Christ and His people. Marriage, though it has other God-given purposes, is meant to illustrate these roles. I ...